Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 451: : Feelings



"Dame Csille, are you really planning to close the Foundation for good?"

I turn around and see Cairistine, Mairenn's daughter, clinging to my skirt. She looks so sad about the temporary closure of the Foundation.

I smile reassuringly at her and gently caress her head. "It's only temporary, Cairistine. Once the renovations are done, we'll resume our operations. So, you shouldn't worry, okay?" I tap her little nose. "Everything will be okay."

Cairistine's eyes fill with tears as she looks up at me. "You promise? Will everything be better? Will I still see you?"

I froze when I heard her question. Will she still see me? I doubt that. I decided to close the Foundation for now to prevent it from being shut down because of my betrayal.

I will be turning over the management of the Hope Foundation to Brother Pascal. I need someone I can trust to continue being the hope of this kingdom.

I chuckle, attempting to conceal the nervousness in my voice. I couldn't bring myself to lie in front of a child, so I opt to change the subject.

"What are you talking about? Aren't you still living in the Foundation? Do you think I wouldn't oversee the renovation?"

She pouts at me and shakes her head. "Dame Csille, that's not what I was trying to say."n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

I laugh and gently caress her head. "I know, I'm just teasing you. You seem so worried about what's happening. I just want you to feel better. You're too young to worry about these things. All you need to do is live your childhood as happily as you can, okay? Leave all the worrying to the adults. I'll take care of everything."

Only then does she smile genuinely at me. "I will, Dame Csille. Thank you for always making me feel better."

I was about to say something, but Mairenn calls for Cairistine, so I have no choice but to let her go.

I watch her running back to their room. I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to see her or Mairenn again. So, all I can do is hope things will work out for them in the future.

My heart wouldn't be able to heal from the guilt if I ever heard things didn't go well for them.

I heave a sigh and sadly smile at myself. Look at me, worrying about other people, yet I'm the one who'll be facing the worst future among them all.

I look around my surroundings and sigh. Everything's still a mess in the Foundation, but because the renovation is ongoing, I'm sure it'll be better in no time.

However, I don't think I'll be able to see the Foundation reopen.

I just entered my room when Eve suddenly barged in. "Miss, you're finally here. I was anxiously looking for you everywhere. Where did you run off to? Have you forgotten that you're still injured?"

I take a seat on my bed and smile at Eve, who looks stressed right now. "Why don't you sit first, Eve? You look like you haven't slept for a day."

Eve just sighs and shakes her head. "Miss, how do you expect me to look presentable after finding out you left without notice? Do you know how anxious I was?"

"Apologies, I just visited the Foundation to check on the progress of the renovation. I didn't see you earlier, which is why I wasn't able to notify you. But don't worry, Father and Mother know about it."

I hear Eve sigh in relief. I know she's only concerned about my health. It hasn't been long since the explosion happened, so it's natural for her to be this worried. Even my parents are concerned about me. It's a good thing I was able to convince them to go to their respective work.

"Apologies, miss. I was just worried about your well-being. It's only been days since your brace was removed. I know you're all better now, but I still think it's better if you refrain from moving around too much."

I smile reassuringly at Eve. "Don't worry, Eve. I'm planning to stay at home for a few days. If I could stay here for a month, I'd love that."

Because that would mean I wouldn't have to worry about being a villainess. However, that's wishful thinking. There's no way I can escape my path as a villainess.

"Miss, if you wanted to, you could do that. You're the daughter of a count. You could stay at home for your whole life and do nothing if you really wanted to."

I look at Eve, wishing everything were as simple as she said. But "simple" isn't a word I can use to describe the situation I'm currently in.

I lay on my bed and relish the comfort it brings. "Hmm. I would love that idea," I murmur. I close my eyes and try to rid all the negative emotions I'm feeling right now.

All the anger, sadness, guilt, and betrayal. If only I could numb myself, I would do it. If that's the only way I can fulfill my role properly.

"Miss, are you asleep? A letter arrived earlier while you were gone. Do you want me to put it on your bedside table first?"

I open my eyes and look at Eve. "From whom does the letter come?"

I don't expect anyone to send me a letter. Except Mr. Sewell, however, I don't think Eve will allow a letter with no return address to be in my hands.

"It's from His Highness, Prince Fraser."

I feel my hand tremble when I hear that name. I still couldn't move on from our last conversation, and yet here's a letter from the man who stirs my emotions into turmoil. What does he want this time?

I gaze out the window and sigh. At our current pace, I'm afraid we'll reach the department tomorrow.

However, I know I can't complain, or we might end up back at the Lauretré residence. It's a good thing my parents allowed me to work in the department as long as I take care of myself. And that also means...

I glance at Brother Pascal, who is currently engrossed in a book. He's accompanying me during my stay in the department because my parents are worried about my health.

Despite Brother Pascal and the other doctors confirming that I'm fully recovered, my parents still insist on bringing Brother Pascal with me. It's either I bring Brother Pascal to work, or I don't work at all.

I hear Brother Pascal sigh. "Don't look at me, Csille. Aunt asked me not to change the pace of the carriage, and you know I couldn't say no to her. Just stay put there and wait. What will happen if you arrive later than expected?"

I shake my head and remain quiet. I wanted to refute his words, but I'm too exhausted to argue right now. So, I just keep my mouth shut.

A moment of silence passes when Brother Pascal suddenly says, "I don't really understand

you, Csille."

I frown and stare at him. Brother Pascal is currently looking at me with furrowed eyebrows.

What is his problem this time?

"What do you mean, Brother? I don't think I understand what you're referring to."

He shakes his head. "I don't understand how you can still work with him. After what he did to

you?"

I feel my body freeze for a second. I know who he's referring to. It's Prince Fraser. The letter I received yesterday is an invitation to visit the department. It's an invitation to visit the department. After the explosion, a lot of things happened there, and now that I'm better, he sent me a letter to see if I can work in the department again.

After our last conversation, I never heard from him again. I even thought he would stop talking to me altogether. Yet, he sent me a letter as if our last conversation never happened. I sigh. What can I expect from him? He often does that says things he can't keep. Though I understand it's likely due to the novel and the force that's influencing him to behave

inconsistently.

"Csille? You're avoiding it again," Brother Pascal remarks.

I look at Brother Pascal. It's not that I'm avoiding it, I just don't know how to respond to his remarks because even I don't understand my own actions.

Am I truly making the right decisions at this moment, or am I just convincing myself that I

am?

Even though I'm fully aware of what's happening and my actions, I can't help but wonder: Would I still act this way if I were in full control of myself? Would I behave like this if I were the real Csille and not a fixed character bound to a storyline?

I shake my head. It's pointless to dwell on these thoughts because I know they're nothing more than wishful thinking.

"Be honest with me, Csille. Do you still love him? Because this is the only rational thing I can

think of."

Love him?

Do I still love him? Is it Ysavel Vlahos who truly loves him, or is it Csille Lauretré's feelings?

I hear another scoff from Brother Pascal. "I knew I was right. You still love him." He laughs sarcastically. "After all he's done, you still love him. I don't understand why you're treating yourself like this, Csille. You're the most beautiful lady in this land, yet you're desperate for someone who couldn't even see you."

I smile sadly and close my eyes. I want to say something, but I know a part of his words holds

truth.

However, I don't want to confront it. I couldn't, because it would only ruin what I've been trying to fix all this time.

"Csille, it's getting late. You should rest now. We've only just arrived, and you're already burrying yourself in work," he remarks, shaking his head with disappointment. "Just because the doctor cleared you for work, it doesn't mean you should overdo it."

I continued to read the paper without bothering to look at Brother Pascal. "Brother, I'll just

finish reading this report."

We arrived an hour before midnight, and I immediately went to my office to check the documents Sela left for me. I had informed her beforehand of my arrival and asked her to prepare the necessary documents that I missed during my absence.

I didn't hear anything from Brother Pascal, so I thought he had given up and left. However, I

was startled when he suddenly scooped me up from my seat and carried me out of my office.

I tried to grab the document I was reading, but he didn't give me a chance. "You need to rest.

If you keep being stubborn, I'll have to tell Aunt and Uncle. You wouldn't want to go back to the capital without accomplishing anything here, would you?"

I looked at him and nodded. He seemed angry, so I didn't have much choice but to follow him. I'm sure he'll do what he said if I keep insisting on working.

Brother Pascal nodded in satisfaction when he didn't hear anything from me. We just continue making our way to our assigned chambers

We were about to turn into the hallway leading to our room when we heard soft whispers.

Brother Pascal stopped in his tracks and gently put me down. We both looked at each other

and frowned.

The voices we could hear were oddly familiar-it was Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee! But why were they conversing in the hallway in the middle of the night?

"Csille, maybe it's better if we use the other way, it wou-" Brother Pascal's sentence was cut

short as we were startled by Princess Paislee's voice.

"STOP! Your highness, please stop this!"

I frown. Why does she sound upset? Her relationship with Prince Fraser should be improving

now. She should be developing feelings for him already, so why does she sound angry at

Prince Fraser?

What's going on between them?

"Sir Farren, please listen to me first. I know it's difficult to grasp what I've just said, but trust

me on this one. What I've said is true."

My brows furrow further when I hear a hint of desperation in Prince Fraser's voice, which I

don't quite understand. Why is he so desperate?

"Your highness, how can you expect me to believe such things? This involves a royal family. How can you expect me to take everything you said lightly?"

I feel Brother Pascal tugging my arm. "Csille, let's leave. It wouldn't be good if His Highness

learns that we are eavesdropping on their conversation," he whispers in my ear, concerned that we might interrupt Prince Fraser's conversation with Princess Paislee.

I glance in the direction of Prince Fraser and nod my head. As much as I want to continue listening to their conversation, I know it wouldn't be wise for us to stay.

As we were about to leave, we heard Prince Fraser speak up. "Sir Farren, I understand that it

may sound unbelievable to you, but I am telling the truth." Princess Paislee laughed sarcastically, her tone unfamiliar. It's the first time I've heard her laugh like that. "How can you expect me to believe that a royal has feelings for me? A man."

My eyes widened as I heard Princess Paislee's words, prompting me to quickly pull Brother

Pascal away from that place. "Csille, did you hear what I heard?"