Netori: Reborn as the Human Aphrodisiac

2,500 years. Vel'Asha had lived for 2,500 years. Most of it spent studying the Divine Secrets—chasing the Highest Wisdom. Why? Because she was a prodigy? No.

The answer was stupidly simple and down to earth:

She just wanted to meet her dad.

Ba'al Agan devoted his life to the Lord, going through countless trials and tribulations to earn the position of First Devotee. Though he put wealth and boons galore at his family's disposal, protecting them from a distance, the Heavenly Demon didn't have time to be a husband, much less a father.

At first, she was supposed to meet him at her 10th birthday…but he never came. Then the 100th. And he still didn't show up. So, she had an idea. Since dad is so devoted to the Lord he can't spare a moment to say his girl 'hello'. Maybe the only way to meet him is to reach the Lord's level.

That level…is the Highest Wisdom.

So she chased the Highest Wisdom, mastering the Divine Secrets at record speed and becoming the youngest Dark Preceptor in recorded history. But on that same day, she realized the man who'd driven her mom insane with his neglect was not worth her hard work. She would still honor his name as her father but couldn't devote her life to chasing the shadow of a dad who couldn't even say "Hello."

Mom went mad doing just that. So I have to do better. To be better. And prepare for the day I meet the man to build a proper house with. Be patient. Don't rush.

Don't just listen to what they say. Watch how they behave. Observe them for as long as you need to…and never bend over for an idiot.

A man…a real man. A father, a teacher, a charmer, a leader…and of course a lover. Only that man was worth her bubble butt.

She had been preparing for him. Studying and writing books on how to be a good wife and mother. Not perfect, but good...hopefully great. Sadly, sometimes you can chase one thing your entire life. Do your best every step of the way…yet fail to reach your goal.

That…is reality. So Vel looked for a thousand years. Millions of Superior Beings from various races and backgrounds that competed for her favors…but not one met the cut.

Great Kings, Gods and Antigods. Sage Kings, Archfiend and Ba'al. Wrathful God or what not. All hopeless. Why? Because they are idiots.

The world is full of idiots. There are no geniuses. We're all stupid. Just that some happen to be dumber than others.

Even I am an idiot. A complete fool.

Thankful for being alive. Appreciating the beauty of the world. Going through the motions of life chasing the simple pleasures and hoping to share them with a simple partner…is the hope of a fool.

I will never succeed…my fool doesn't exist. But still I will keep searching. I cannot stop…or my soul will rot and devolve into a wasteland of death. Vel'Asha's perseverance moved the Dead God Vritra, who appeared to her as a dark-purple dragoness to give her a biblical date:

"Violet eyes. Your guy will come in scarlet armor and violet eyes. I will set you up myself. But don't waste the chance...or it'll piss me off.

Don't piss me off. I can't stand being pissed off." Vritra's words ended here.

The Wrathful Gods were all mysterious and secretive individuals with weird hobbies and interests. So Vel'Asha was one of the few in the Higher Planes privileged to know Vritra's true identity:

The original Queen of Monsters. The Sun's wife.

The Sun's wife was setting up a date. Vel took it very seriously—months later meeting a man who fit the description like a glove:

Odoacer.

What were the odds? It couldn't be a coincidence. So Vel invested…helping him with his quest while observing his every move.

Hope. Bullshit. Disappointment. More hope…and the rest is fucking failure. Centuries of observation and investment only to find another failure. At this point, why do I even bother?

That Mana girl is right. A queen is condemned by her throne to spend her lifetime alone. Let's just forget it all and focus on our grunt work.

Vel'Asha had given up. When out of nowhere, he appeared, thunder-clapping her spoiled attendant's cheeks like a proper rascal. A cultured bandit with eyes that go wide for gold, a love for noblewomen and an addiction to hussies.

How many times did she catch herself watching the recording of Mithras clapping Honoria's cheeks. For what? She wasn't even doing anything special. Just laughing at the whole thing. It all felt so funny for some reason.

But then she realized the bandit boy was a real charmer. A real man. And it wasn't so funny anymore.

She caught herself stealing glances. Staring for way too long. Biting her lips sometimes. Enraged that he clapped Elektra's behind…and smiling at his exploits.

That man is so fun to watch. I don't mind him stealing kisses. And even now that he's making out with me…my body can't resist him.

I didn't need this much. Why did you have to be so sweet? Now I'm making out with my failure's son. From Iron Maiden to cougar and sugar mommy.

I am officially…a degenerate.

Tears of joy trickled down Vel'Asha's cheeks, and she opened her mouth, embracing Mithras' lips and prolonging the kiss for what seemed like an eternity. The Queen Regent's hands got frisky, roaming Mithras' body and feeling up his chest as she melted in his arms.

As this went on, little did the pair know that various figures observed them from thousands of miles away, their hearts tearing up piece by piece.

In the Mausoleum of Evil, Hadubrangr witnessed the event—forced by the Weaver to watch his life's greatest regret go crazy for his son. His face stayed stoic, yet blood tears dropped from the Fylkir's eyes, his heart beating so fast that he struggled to stay on his feet.

"What's…going on? Why does it hurt…so much? Am I not supposed to have lost my human emotions? Vel…son…stop…arghh!" Hadubrangr's sclera turned red, and he howled in grief, reeling in a dizzy spell.

At the same time, Bhaira stood in a vegetative state, watching Mithras' tongue-kissing her boss girl...with her eyes glued to Mithras' face.

"Impossible…lookalike…copycat…can't…please...it can't be him." Bhaira shook her head nonstop, refusing to accept reality.

"You girls are so stupid. I try to preserve you…but you refuse to listen. All to cry at the end of the day…and curse my name all the same." The Lord's voice pealed in Bhaira's mind, and her eyes went bloodshot.

Meanwhile, Mithras broke the kiss. Pulling away from his Co-Regent and fixing her hair with a gentle stroke. Vel'Asha sparkled like a diamond, and as the gate of the Sixth Secret opened in her soul, her words flowed out.

"Praise be thy Lord for putting on thy path what you never knew you wanted. Mithras…you're so annoying. But that is also why…I find you so endearing. And now thanks to you I know the answer to the age-old question… 'Do dreams come true?'

Dreams do come true. For now I'm holding…what I never knew I wanted." Vel poured out her innermost feelings, looking towards the ground with a silly smile…and a blush on her cheeks.

[Ding! Ding! Ding!]

[Hidden Quest: The Heart of Gold…completed!]

[Hidden Quest: The Heavenly Demon Has My Back…completed!]

[Achievement: The Devil's Tongue…unlocked!]

[Achievement: The Gift…unlocked!]

[Reward…reward…reward!]

The system's voice boomed in Mithras' mind. But as it is often the case in situations like these, Mithras ignored it, pulling his Co-Regent into another round of tongue. And letting his hands wander a little…just a little.

In that instant, the school bell rang—announcing the start of the morning classes. But the pair pretended not to hear, going on for a little more. And while they had their fun, somewhere in an auditorium, Ishtar crushed nuts between her fingers, staring into the void.

"The body count is on its way up. Strange. Have I been slacking on my meditation routine? Why do I feel so happy…and frustrated at the same time? A conflicting sensation." The dragoness whispered, unaware that at her left, Nagini looked at her with suspicion. Honoria too couldn't help but stare.

Eyes narrowing at Ishtar.

"You are so weird. Sometimes…I feel like you become a completely different person." Unable to make sense of Ishtar's words, Honoria blurted out – prompting Nagini to nod in vigorous approval.

"I've been saying this the entire time! Ishtar…you don't have some kind of personality disorder…do you?" Nagini probed for answers, her words making poor Ishtar sulk somewhat.

"That's a bit unfair and aggressive. But if it can make you feel better. In the same way that there is only one Mithras. There is only one Ishtar. She just happens to be…a multifaceted wifey," Ishtar said with a little pout, pulling out her needles and sewing a handkerchief to pass time as the new Muk'Bal instructor entered the auditorium.

An elegant raven-haired beauty with deep blue eyes that bore a striking resemblance to Ishtar.

The students would call her professor.

But Mithras…would call her mom.

Menaka had returned to school.